Ode To Pillow
2005-08-14/11:48 a.m.

Oh, Pillow, you're my dearest friend
Absolutely nothing else will do.
How I long for you at day's end
When it's time to hug and cuddle you.

I've had other pillows in my time, it's true
Of whom I was never so fond
Until that fateful day when I bought you
From the Bed Bath and Beyond

We should go away to the beach some day
I'll rub sunscreen on your pillowcase
In the waves we'll wrestle, surf and play
And at night we'll gaze at the stars in space

We could even buy a little house
In the suburbs and have two little kids
And if you ever saw a little mouse
I'd be brave and catch it while you hid

Do I have to do everything for you?
It's just a stupid little mouse
Here I am cooking and cleaning for you
And you just laze around the house

We're over, Pillow, we're through
Yeah, yeah, it's really sad
Stop crying, I'm really leaving you
I'm moving in with my mom and dad

Okay, now put the gun down
You're getting a little crazy on me
Why don't we just talk this one out
And see if we can agree

AGREE THAT YOU'RE A STUPID DUMB ASS!
HA HA, I TRICKED YOU THERE BIG TIME
SHOULDN'T HAVE PUT THE GUN DOWN SO FAST
YOU OBNOXIOUS LITTLE SWINE!

Hey…mmph…get off of me
I…ack…can't get any air
You're…ughh….mmph…smothering me
I'll…erk…change….ack….I swear…

Ha ha, suckered you again, Pillow!
I won't change my mind…I'm leaving!
Running out this door to find me a real pillow
HONK! CRASH! SPLAT! Oh Pillow, I'm bleeding.

Pillow? Hello? Please help me
I'm sorry for what I said
Oh, thank you, Pillow, thank you
No…ack…you're smothering me…mmph…dead.








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