This evening at the job site.
The guy who sits behind me says, “Uh oh, Crystal, you’re not gonna like this.”
Hmm. I can’t help but wonder what is going on behind me now. I scooch my chair back just in time to see my friend at another desk rating pictures of women in thongs on some website. He hears me rolling my chair and says “Crystal! Nothing to see here!”
I say “ewww, women who wear thongs 10 inches above their pants line are gross.”
“I am a man, I have testosterone, you have… whatever it is that women have, so you wouldn’t understand” har har har.
His deskmate comes the closest to agreeing with me when he says “I just don’t see how that could possibly be comfortable, I don’t know about that.”
“Part of the sexiness is that she is uncomfortable! She’s doing it just for the looking good and throwing comfort out the window,” says the original guy.
I say “I once saw a lady at the Jersey Shore who had a tattooed on thong line.”
He says “That’s gross, ewww, I am not into that.”
I thought he’d be psyched because she has a permanently stupid thong line around her.
At this point another guy pipes up “wait, what’s gross?? Who’s calling what gross now?”
“He is rating thongs on a website and I am saying girls who wear high up thongs do not look good.”
“How could anyone ever think that doesn’t look good?? That is CRAZY!”
“I don’t like them all the way up, I like a little bit showing, teasing me if you will.”
“I don’t like seeing the back part, I just like seeing the sides”
I say “there are other kinds of underwear that have strings on the sides, not just thongs.”
A chorus of “shut up! Stop ruining this for us” then went up.
“Okay, you got me. Only magical women in fairytale underwear are capable of such panty string lines.”
“Thank you, we already knew that,” they say.
(Sometime around here I mention that I have worn thongs to work and they have not noticed because I wasn’t flashing several inches of string to them and I got a “well, showing them off doesn’t work for everyone.” Yikes, did it just get hot in here or did I just get burned?)
Original guy now says “hey, I like all kinds of underwear and would be more than willing to rate them.”Now it gets good.
The original guy now breaks it down for me: “Crystal, this is the dance of men and women. Women wear the thongs and men go on the internet and rate the thongs. It is a game as old as time, who are you to judge it?”
OH! Now I get it.