Chuck Norris is Everywhere.
2005-12-05/1:06 p.m.

In an effort to put off some creative work of my own, I am reading these “random facts” about Chuck Norris online. Here are some of the ones that I found hilarious:

When Chuck Norris has sex with a man, it is not because he is gay, but
because he has run out of women.

There is no chin behind Chuck Norris' beard. There is only another
fist.

Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried.

Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead
decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter
he grew a beard.

Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the
JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his
beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement.

Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are
trademarked names for his left and right legs.

It was once believed that Chuck Norris actually lost a fight to a
pirate, but that is a lie, created by Chuck Norris himself to lure more
pirates to him.

Here is the original site. You can rate each comment and I tend to give 1s and 10s. No in between with me, no siree. You can also submit your own, and then be judged by me later.


There is also a Vin Diesel one but it’s not as funny.








ARCHIVES

A note I found in a drawer.
2012-04-22
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
2011-07-10
Books are beautiful.
2011-06-18
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
2011-06-02
Something that happened yesterday.
2011-05-28