This year- Day two hundred and sixty two. (letter to the worst friend)
Remember when I was wicked pissed off at you for how you took advantage of my niceness in regard to borrowing my car? Yeah, well it turns out it didn't end when you finally dropped off the car and left me alone. No sirree.
I got into the car this morning and it was clear instantly that you smoked in the car. A lot. I had to air it out all day and still had asthma issues. Daireen rode in it for like 10 minutes and her eyes were itchy. Awesome. Remember when I told you there is no smoking in my car and you were all "I would never do that?" You were lying because you are a liar. You don't want to believe that you are a liar, but there you have it, you are one.
My favorite side effect of the smoking is how there is now a small cigarette burn in the driver's side seat. How charming!
Why, it's nearly as charming as the melted gum on the passenger seat that you clearly smeared around in an attempt to "clean." I got most of it out today but seriously, what is wrong with you?
I also loved how when I told you that if you were driving the car a lot it would have to have the transmission flushed (due to needing at at the miles #) and you were all "I only put a few thousand miles on it, it's around 65k." I remember that.
That's why it was incredibly weird when I got into the car today and saw 75k on the odometer. You put over 10k miles on the car in 6 months. WHAT. THE. FUCK. IS. WRONG. WITH. YOU?!!? You actually damaged the transmission, you asshole. You are the reason I will not be able to road trip to SF in MY OWN FUCKING CAR during this trip unless I spend a lot of money and time fixing the problems you caused.
Oh yeah, and those parking tickets still haven't been paid and I have to register the car so I will be paying those as well. When Erika said that she envisioned my having to take you on Judge Judy, I laughed because I thought she was so wrong. I am an idiot because she is right.
The truth is though, no matter how much money I get out of you, it doesn't change the fact that you are a lying asshole who took total advantage of me and ruined something I loved (ie. my car). Everything that is bad in your life is bad because you deserve it. If anything, your life is far better than you deserve and that is infuriating. I can only hope that the karma you reaped from this comes back to you over and over again for the rest of your life.