This Year- Day two hundred and seventy. (Brandon Walsh)
Why were we, as a nation, supposed to believe that Brandon Walsh was this incredibly nice guy that every girl should want to marry? He was a dick.
I am watching some later episodes where he is with Kelly and sleeping with a writer for his "paper" who is friends with Kelly. I don't even remember this. What is it, the third time he's cheating or attempting to cheat on Kelly? Fourth?
Also, he is the smuggest person in smug town. Always sauntering up to people with his smug face and patting them on the shoulder while he either judges them or gives them pushy advice they never asked for. The somber music will play and we'll get to see wise Brandon give his final word on the topic. Even when he was supposedly a 16 year old boy we were supposed to care about his stupid final word.
And now, he's an adult and with someone we're supposed to believe he's been in love with since he was young and he's cheating with some cruddy freelance writer for his free weekly paper. Oh! And he's doing this while Kelly is being sexually harassed by her boss at work. Whatta guy! He also implies that Kelly shouldn't press charges against the guy because she should think of her career. Great advice. I'm sure it's not fueled at all by the fact that he's asking an employee he boned to quit her job. No way.
Ack! He just ran to Kelly's rescue! Of course he's there for the bare minimum to take the maximum amount of credit.
Remember when they were in high school and he used Andrea's crush on him to get things he wanted all the time? I loved when he was complaining (at the beach club) about Andrea being around all the time, fawning all over him, cramping his style when it turned out she was over him and dating Peter Krause (hilarious, very young Peter Krause) and he was all "dang, I miss the attention that I've gotten from 3 years of taking you for granted." That was in his brain, he'd never actually apologize honestly to a woman he's treated smugly. That's not the Brandon Walsh way!
Or when he ran for class president and immediately thought he was hot shit and people were all "you're Kennedy-esque" and he was all "thanks" because he really thought he was Kennedy-esque. He tells Kelly she's a jerk for never having voted before (she's 16!) because he never misses a moment to be sanctimonious.*
And to top it all off, he gels his hair into a stiff mass everyday for probably an hour.
*That is the same episode where Brenda, the least funny person ever, decides to try her hand at standup comedy/poetry at a "club" that is really a coffee house with couches everywhere and some girl named "Sky" who Brenda thinks is super cool. The episode that included the line, "Mom, these performance-oriented coffeehouses are really happening!" What a great episode. One day I should just blog old episodes of 90210 to entertain myself. They would NOT be kind to Brandon, that's for sure.
!!EDIT!! The internet is so vast and giving. I have found a rewatch of that exact episode written by the hilarious, Tara Ariano (of television without pity): "http://www.sling.com/blog/5394/%22Beverly-Hills,-90210%22-1-16-%22Stand-(Up)-and-Deliver%22:-The-Great-Rewatch "