My Summer of Beauty
2005-09-25/6:55 p.m.

I am a tomboy. I have been a tomboy since about 2 seconds after being born. I started playing soccer at age 4 on pretty much all boy teams. There are pictures of me as a toddler in jeans and tshirts with dirt on my face, grinning from ear to ear. My mom always said that her friends were so jealous because they wanted girls and all of them had boys, but then my mom had to break it to them that her girls gave the average boy a run for his money. The number of times we have been separated for fighting (and I am not talking some kind of baby fighting but full on punches and wrestling and hitting each other with large objects kind of fighting) is probably mind boggling.

As I have gotten older I have picked up a few girl things here and there. Like I starting plucking my eyebrows- that was a big step. I got into wearing skirts/dresses and I learned how to apply basic makeup. At some point I even stopped cutting my own hair or getting cheapy cuts and started going to nice places (when I wasn’t able to hair model) and getting actually nice haircuts.

This summer though, for some reason, I have greatly increased my girliness tenfold. First of all, I went to a spa . It was a birthday gift for me and Sharon from Mike and Eric’s mom and the ladies went out for a beauty day. It was nuts. First of all, I had no idea that getting a facial was going to be such a naked adventure- you strip down to just panties and then wear a robe for the rest of the day. A big, soft robe with flip flops that they give you. But still, you’re basically naked, walking around, eating mini-brownies, sipping homemade lemonade, having a lady wail on your face, naked. (In retrospect, I was happy to be a little late so that I didn’t have to spend some uncomfortable naked time with Mike’s mom in the locker room)

I had a lady who was German and said some pretty terrible/hilarious things to me. (Imagine everything in a very matter-of-fact German accent) I say “I’ve never been here before, I don’t know how it works.” “Yes I can tell.” Then, she asked “how often do you wash your face?” “Once a day,” …..”oh, you should do it in the morning and at night, that’s why your face is so damaged and your pores are so large.” She went on and on about my bad skin and my enormous, probably visible from space, pores. I finally said, “I thought my skin was pretty good, I rarely wear makeup, I always use a moisturizer with spf, and I don’t break out very much.” Silence, and then “well, it is perfectly good skin… just not perfect skin. It really should be perfect.” NO THANKS. That sounds like way too much work, lady.

She did use something amazing as an exfoliator that she told me was made out of crushed marble. Then I looked at it in the lobby and it was $44 for a small tube. I couldn’t bring myself to do it so I just bought a thing from the store that smells like lemons and you can spray it on your skin and hair to make it very shiny and smell delicious. Check me out, I buy products from spas!

The next thing was a pedicure/eyebrow waxing. My friend Erika had been praising the virtues of both since Sharon’s wedding last year. Here’s the thing though, I HATE FEET. I hate hate hate them. I think sandals should be illegal and that no one should touch them. But at the same time I want mine to be very clean and soft and inoffensive. Doing yoga has made me a lot more aware of my bare feet so I decided to give a try. IT RULED. The waxing part was merely “meh” but the pedi was amazing. Some things tickled a lot, but my feet were so nice afterwards. I did think my girl was kind of shoddy, and that she could have done more in the softening department, but she was amazing with the polish so I will forgive her. Now I can’t imagine not getting a pedicure every so often (not very often but sometimes). The waxing didn’t last and I still had to pluck a week later. I was hoping for a miracle I guess.

But now, for the last five days I have been house/dog sitting for my friend Lisa. Lisa is a girly girl. She has tons of clothes and a rack built in to her closet just for high-heels. She puts on makeup even if she’s just going to walk her dogs. She often gives me clothes and guidance, which is much appreciated. Staying in her apartment has been like staying in the chocolate factory would be for a kid. I am amazed and delighted at every turn. I have tried so many products this week, just from being in the shower. Now I know exactly what I want should I ever drop 100 bucks at Fresh on face products. Honey exfoliator and sugar face polish were amazing. One guy at work asked if I had plans that night because I looked so nice. Dude, I was wearing the same jeans I’d had on for 3 days and I wasn’t wearing any makeup- score! Then I used her shampoo made out of kiwis and two people asked if I just got a haircut because my hair was looking so good. See, it actually can pay to use high quality, and even natural products. I know this, but I just can’t seem to bring myself to spend the money. Now that I know what I love though, it will be much easier. Even this and this were amazing and made me smell awesome all day. Oooh and this is no lie, it really did make my skin feel like butter. Soft and creamy butter, not greasy or fatty butter.

This is to say nothing of her enormous flat panel tv, dvr, 200 disk dvd player with her dvds loaded up and catalogued and the amazing 2 showerheads (TWO!) in the bathtub. I wish her place was my place. It is like a real home that someone has poured their heart into. I want that. Oh, and it comes with adorable doggies.

Maybe now that I am able to properly groom myself, an adult lifestyle will be my next logical step. A girl can dream.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.