The Real Housewives of Orange County. I have watched all of the seasons of this show. Remember Slade and Jo from seasons 1 and 2? I actually kind of miss his douche face. And his stupid man tan and ugly mandals. And WTF is up with him moving to LA between seasons? Is he following Jo? Pretending he's 24 again to make her jealous? Good luck, douche face! That will never work. Where did his kids go? Last week a housewife from season 1 visited and I was like "oh yeah, her." I forget them so quickly it's almost as though they never existed.

The funny thing is that I don't really watch this show. I mean, I don't really know when it's on (okay, tuesdays at 10) but I happen to watch like 8 hours in a row when marathons are on.

This season:
-I really like George. Am I missing something? He seems like the most likable guy on the show (not that that's saying a ton, but you know). And he treats his woman like a queen. Yeah, that's him on the horse up top.

-I may like Ashley. She's by far the best of the blonde girls. The other two who do the energy drink thing are scary alien faces who never wear clothing. Ashley has been funny a few times.

-The alien faced girls' dad died over the summer. That's sad. And yet, dad's friends are putting them in teeny bikinis now and perving over them. One girl mentioned finding it inappropriate, but only once. If I were those girls I'd be running for the hills.

-One of them turned 40 this week and was freaking out about how old it was. FORTY. She has a 22 year old son. She said that 40 is the age you start having work done. I guess I just have hot friends, because my 40 year old friends look about 5-10 years younger. Or maybe it's the lack of botox in their faces and their real noses. Get over yourself, lady.

-People act like Jenah is the fattest person in the world because she's like a size 8 or 10 now. And she has hot legs. She has to be close to 50. Give her a break and shut up!

-Lauri is really likable despite how fake she looks. And I like her daughter Sophie who plays softball and doesn't bleach her hair (she's only like 10, give her time).

Oh lord, someone please save me from myself. I've gone off the deep end!