I hate how everything can be totally fine and then I open the wrong drawer or something and find something that knocks the wind out of me.

I shouldn't have mine fields like this in my own apartment.

Sometimes I hate him a lot. Sometimes I want to tell him that the reason he will live a long and unfulfilled life is because he deserves it. He's a shitty person and he deserves it. Sometimes I miss him and wished that we still talked to each other. And most often I wished that he just never existed so that I didn't have to ever have days like this.

I'm just trying to clean out my file cabinet but somehow I found two old birthday cards. They don't even go there. That's not where I keep them. It's like he's sneaking in here and hiding things so that he can break my heart as many times as possible.

Well, it's pretty much gone at this point. Please stop.