This year - Day one.
2009-06-29/8:02 p.m.

Today I turned thirty years old. Over the weekend my band, the marshmallows, played our first out of town show at the Insubordination Records fest in Baltimore.

the marshmallows- insub fest 09 6.27.09
(photo by Chris Grivet)

The fest was a blast! The Dead Milkmen set was amazing, as were about 20 others. One of my most favorite bands from yesteryear, egghead., reunited and played. Egghead. was the first band that I saw when I moved to NYC in 1997. It was a show at Coney Island High with the Dickies and Snuff. Michelle made me go and it was awesome. Between them and the Kung Fu Monkeys playing this weekend, my heart was smiling for two days straight.

I was panicked all Friday that I would lose my voice and not be able to sing though. I seem to lose my voice all the time now and very easily. This meant no drinking all week (after getting pretty drunk last weekend with Johnny and Kelly Lynn) and also not much talking on the Friday portion of fest shenanigans. When I saw my friend Steve he played a message on his iphone that said "don't talk. save your voice." I appreciated that.

I am not a great singer to begin with so the last thing I need is to lose my dang voice when we have to do harmonies and crap. Luckily it all worked out and I just blew my voice out during our set and didn't look back. I did borrow my friend Erin's throat spray stuff that is disgusting but I think it did help since I never lost my voice completely. But man, is it disgusting. It's made of anise extract or something.... yeeeee-uck! Rock and roll is gross business. (I was reminded of this later when Johnny held me down and made me smell his flight suit the day after they played... it smelled like rotten fruit.)

the marshmallows- insub fest 09 6.27.09

The cutest thing about that photo is the back of the head that belongs to my friend Larry's 13 year old nephew, Jackson. He watched us and then told us we were great after. I gave him a rice krispie treat before (that we made for the audience) and he was all pleases and thank yous. What a little sweetie. Later I heard he ran on stage and did his first stage dive. Awww, adorable. And I don't even like stage diving in anyway. I do love polite kids though.


So, now I'm 30 and I'm doing things that people 5-10 years younger than myself are doing. When I was 5-10 years younger I didn't allow myself too much fun so I guess I'm making up for it now? I don't know. It's a fun hobby, I will admit.

Before Johnny flew away this afternoon we had lunch and he said that he's fascinated by people who peak early and I said "like me?" He said he doesn't think I've peaked and I said that I have maybe depending on who you ask. When I was like 14-20 years old I worked my ass off and did well at school, sports and then also having a job that I worked a lot and doing tons of other programs. How the hell did I have the time?? There are days now when I do almost nothing and I'm still tired. Maybe I'm still tired from all the stuff I did back then? Maybe. Or maybe I peaked back then and am lazy now.

I am not very good at being an adult. I don't have any kids or a husband or any life prospects or plans. Nothing I thought would be happening now is happening now so I've just given up on planning. We'll see how that goes. I plan to document this year as much as possible with photos and stories. I guess we'll see what happens.

Right now the apartment is silent for the first time in 10 days. I miss Johnny, I will admit. Even though he left only a few hours ago. I got used to having him around, I suppose. Maybe I will catch up on some tv and take a nap.

And with that, the year begins.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.