This year- Day forty-nine. (This American Life- Break Ups)
2009-08-17/11:35 a.m.

Last night I had no internet service in Jersey City so I just gave up and decided to post when I could steal wireless again (which is now!).

Yesterday I decided to try listening to the "Break-up" episode of This American Life on my train ride to Jersey City. It aired over a year ago but I found it more depressing then and gave up when the girl and Phil Collins were discussing being dumped on New Years Eve and his birthday respectively and how much that stinks. My birthday was my last day with Mike and later, when he was a total dick and said he hadn't liked me, maybe ever, I asked him why things were so good just a little while before on my birthday. Him- "I wanted to be nice so I wouldn't feel so bad about telling you to move out."

Oh good! I'm glad he didn't feel bad! So yeah, I stopped listening there because I didn't feel like crying on the subway and just listened again. It's so great. And the song she comes up with, with the help of musicians, is really good. "It doesn't do me any good, in fact it does me bad. Now you're oh so gone, and I'm oh so sad." So good! Even Phil Collins agreed when she called and played it for him over the phone.

Also, how candid Phil Collins was about discussing his breakups and how they inspired his songs was inspiring. Refreshing. Heartbreak never seems to end. And as he said, it doesn't really make you feel better to write the song but it makes you feel good for a second and think you may get them back for a second. That's enough sometimes.

"Against All Odds" is really one of the saddest breakups songs ever and when he said that he wrote it when his wife and kids moved out and he was left alone, it got even sadder.

"I wish I could just make you turn around,
turn around and see me cry
There's so much I need to say to you,
so many reasons why
You're the only one who really knew me at all "

"You're the only one who really knew me at all" is such a great line. Everyone has been able to relate to that at some point in time. And that is the point of a good breakup song- it has to be relatable and almost so sincere that it's embarrassing. A tough balance.

I haven't listened to act three of the show yet but so far it's inspired me to go back to crazy notebook scribbling from a few years ago and attempt an actual sincere song about being heartbroken. Up until now I've only done a joke one and an angry one, so a sincere one makes sense.

If you have not heard the episode, they have all of them for 99 cents each on itunes. I bought this one as my second purchase from Eugene's birthday giftcard. 99 cents for an hour long radio show is quite a bargain!

Bonus rant- the wireless here won't work on my computer. It says my network can't connect when I try. It's incredibly frustrating. Thankfully someone has an insecure line that I can steal to send out resumes etc... or I'd be heading home. There was a great job posting today that I am crossing my fingers about. Crossing them so hard, while a doggie sleeps next to my leg.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.