This year- Days two hundred sixteen and seventeen. (Whip it! and Jennifer's Body)
2010-01-31/2:53 p.m.

The skit is being filmed right now (in LA, so I don't get to meet Betty White) but no one ever got back to me last night with which one was being filmed... I have no idea if it's mine. However, they didn't call the cast I had given information on so I am guessing they picked the other one that they narrowed it down to.

Whip it

Last night Ann had a few of us over (and two dogs) for her low key birthday evening. First we watched "Jennifer's Body" which was more weird, confusing and annoying than scary. New slang introduced to us by Diablo Cody in this one:

Salty = hot (ie "the lead singer is totally salty.")
Jello = jealous
freaktarded = retarded
moveondotorg = move on

You can tell that Diablo Cody loved Heathers and "what's your damage, Heather?" and "Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" and so desperately wants to also be part of the pop culture lexicon. Too bad hers are so cheesy and heavy handed that the actors can't even deliver them smoothly. It was so glaring when any of these things were said that it was like the whole movie came to a halt.

Megan Fox is supposed to be a high school student and I simply can't extend my disbelief that far. She looked at least 35 throughout the movie. I liked that she went from chewing up boys and spitting them out to just eating them with her monster jaws- that's funny. It was one of the few things I found funny about it. Everything in the movie had an oddly sexual tone and also teenaged boys will do anything if they think it will end with any kind of Megan Fox touching. In fact, they will walk into horrible scenarios that they know are awful, just on the off chance that she'll touch their wiener. That part may have been realistic.

The best part though, is that the evil is brought to town by Adam Brody's indie rock band who have sold their souls to the devil in order to become famous. Hilarious! That is the crux of the plot. It's never really explained how it goes so wrong, but there is girl on girl kissing so I guess it doesn't matter?

Then we watched "Whip It." I admitted before the movie that I simply do not get roller derby. I just don't. it's supposedly some women-power feminist thing but I don't get it. I am a big time feminist and I just don't see that. My party-mates agreed that they never got it. One thing I do know about it is that older women get into it when their marriages are falling apart. I know a few and peripherally a few more, a party-mate knew one, and my friend Mikki knows a few. What is it that makes women in crumbling marriages seek out roller derby? The anger release? The distraction? Who knows.

In the movie the main person (Ellen Page) is 17 and she is bored and has never felt like a part of anything. She's also a wuss and needs a backbone. I see her being drawn to roller derby. She wants to be good at something and be a part of something. I do not understand it past that age, or how it's a positive thing. People get punched right in the fact and become super violent. Also, if you ever go to one, it's a bunch of scantily clad women and pervy dudes in the audience. Someone told me recently that they went to one and Chevy Chase was in the audience... need I say more?

She immediately uses violence at school and starts lying and hiding things from her family. She also gets with a dude who has no idea that she's a teenager but she's become strong enough to dump him when she sees that he's feeding her a line of bullshit. That's a positive. She also becomes a bad friend and doesn't focus on getting into college anymore. I was really excited when her friend got into Columbia. Good job, friend! You wanted out and you got out! All Ellen Page got was 20 miles away in a roller derby. Doh! It's hard to see it is as a super positive thing even when being told it's a super positive thing.

Back in the 70s didn't roller derby mean men and women? When did it become a women thing? I hate that the coaches tend to be men (even in the movie). It's like when suicidegirls was all "it's ladies doing it for themselves" and then you find out men are making all the money behind the curtain. Ugh. I said something about how I don't get it on twitter months ago and got replies like "you won't get it until you take the hits." I don't want to get beaten up in order to understand female empowerment.

I also don't get the rules so watching all these matches was so boring for... well, all of us. And, remember, I love sports. I understand sports and watch a lot of sports. These rules make no sense and just sound stupid and useless. In one play they all just punch the person guarding them in the face and then win. Punching in the face is allowed?

The funny thing to me was that in the movie the women doing the roller derby were generally annoying as shit and total losers. Why would you look up to these people?!? The one who was good was Kristen Wiig and she had a son and a job and tells Ellen Page when she's being an immature kid (thank god). Drew Barrymore's character is a violent mess. Juliet Lewis' character is 36 and psyched to finally be good at something... and it's roller derby. Eve (yes, Eve) is a loser who never offers anything of interest besides calling her own team losers and starting food fights.

I disliked nearly everyone in the roller derby world and wanted to fast forward through all of those scenes. This movie was supposedly pro-roller derby! In the end, I still don't get the appeal and really don't see it as a feminist movement.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.