I wish my life was like a Lifetime movie. And not one of those ones where my teenaged daughter gets an STD from giving public blowjobs to the losers in high school. I mean one of those ones where a seemingly boring, regular lady gets proposed to by her cute boyfriends all the time and she simply can't decide what to do.

Does this actually happen to anyone? Are these odd fantasies that Lifetime is just perpetuating for no real reason?

I am watching one right now with a girl who is boring, has no career or aspirations, who is broke and lost her job and her apartment and two guys are all "you're perfect! I have always loved you!"

What?! That's never the way it works, life.

I wonder if these people grow into the ones where the husband of 25 years, father of two, comes out of the closet and sends schockwaves through town. I would prefer my life also not being that Lifetime movie.