This year- Day two hundred and thirty three. (valentine's day)
2010-02-17/4:41 a.m.


My most favorite Valentine's story (and I mean that sarcastically) is the first one I ever had with a serious boyfriend. At Christmas he dropped a hint that he was planning something and I was all "crap, that means I have to come up with something" and stressed out about it. I was all super in love though and I came up with an awesome illustrated book that I made him about him. I hoped that was enough.

He spent the week of Valentine's telling his friends that he had something great planned and he told my roommates. On Valentine's day I met him at McDonalds (because he thought that was funny) and gave him the book that I made. He started to cry! That means it's an excellent gift. I was psyched that I had hit a home run. I was also anxious to find out what the lovely gentleman had planned since I had heard so much about it.

Turns out, nothing. We went out to dinner and that was it. It was a joke! He thought it was super funny to talk it up when it was really nothing. I cried that night in a totally different way, not in a psyched by this super heartfelt gift kind of way. He was all "I thought you'd find it funny."

The best was when my roommates asked what happened and I told them it was a joke and they just stared at me. I was relieved to know that the general response was one of "what a shithead" and not "hilarious!" as he had hoped. My favorite part is when I told him that I felt humiliated when I had to tell people what had happened, he replied "how do you think I feel when my friends ask??"

I was supposed to feel sorry because he did something stupid and made his own friends think he was a shithead. Oh man, youthful stupidity is the only reason I can see that I didn't run screaming from those red flags.

Since then I have had mostly ho-hum valentine's days full of no stress and either candy or cupcakes or nothing. Those are wayyyy better days but not really a story to tell. I guess in that way I do owe him all these years later for giving me such a jerk story for later in life. Every guy I ever love in the future also has him to thank for setting the bar so, so low.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.