This year- Day two hundred and forty two. (not proud)
2010-02-26/5:51 a.m.

It's 5:50am and I am awake. I meant to take a 5 hour nap and then go by the Chopped set around noon. This snow is making me wonder if Joyce will still want to do that. Maybe we should postpone until next week?

I feel like I am wasting my life. I don't feel like talking to people on the phone anymore, it seems like. I haven't emailed some people back about hanging out. I was supposed to (finally) see Bleecks this week but I overslept and didn't go. We were supposed to meet at 2pm by the way, and I slept too late to meet him. That's pretty impressive.

I don't know where everything went so wrong or how to fix it. I feel out of touch with most of my friends and colleagues. I was supposed to go to dinner tonight with some of my oldest and best friends but the weather made us postpone until next week. I was kind of relieved because I really don't know what I would talk about with them. They're all getting married, or newly married or buying houses or buying apartments or trying to get pregnant... I'm all "so.... I filed for unemployment and you'll never guess what Oprah was about yesterday" in the meantime. I feel like it's making us all drift apart as friends. If Kim hadn't gotten married last year I would have seen her about 5x less than I did. Her and all of them. I only see any of them when it's a group now. I never just hear from one of them or have dinner or go shopping with one of them like we used to.

Most of the friends that I see all the time now are other people who don't know what they're doing and who aren't in serious relationships. They are the ones with the time to hang out with me and with something to talk about that I understand (escrow is something I seem to never grasp no matter how many times I hear about it).

I have become one of those overgrown children that women complain men are. I am not proud of it.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.