Back and forth had with Pete, when I told him about the mysterious wedding band Scottish guy.

Pete: What an asshole!
Me: No, he's not an asshole.
Pete: He sounds like an asshole.
Me: He can't be an asshole, he's way too cute.
Pete (with a pitying look): That's not how it works, Crystal.

Foiled again.

I got a milkshake at the shake shack the other day when it was beautiful and I was in the city. There was a lady there with two boys who were around 6/7 years old. The guy working in the shake shack pickup window was a cute young guy with a ponytail.

Little boy: Is that a girl? Are you a girl!?!
Mom: No, that's a boy.
Little boy (yelling): HEY, WHY DO YOU LOOK LIKE A GIRL?? (to the ponytail guy) WHY?? Mom, he's not answering me.
Mom: Shhhhh, boys can have ponytails.
Little boy: No... they can't. Girls have ponytails.
Other little boy gives a super confused look.
Mom: No, some girls have really short hair like you and some boys have long hair.
Little boy: WHYYYYYYYYYYY??
Mom: Why do you have short hair?
Little boy looks totally perplexed by that question because he's clearly never considered his own hair and why it exists at all.
Mom: .... is it because you like it?
Little boy: ... no....
Mom: You don't like it?
Little boy (touching the back of his hair): I didn't know I had a choice. .....
Mom: You can do whatever you want with it. You can have a shaved head if you want.
Little boy: Maybe I should grow a ponytail? ..... (clearly mind boggled at this development)

Ponytail guy produced 2 vanilla cones and the boys were all THOSE ARE OURS!!! and jumped up for them. He seemed kind of embarrassed by being called a girl a bunch by a child so when he gave me my shake I told him that he inspired that little boy to grow a ponytail and he said "I aim to inspire." He looked really proud instead of embarrassed.