This year- Day two hundred and seventy five. (I have let myself go)
2010-03-31/4:37 a.m.

It occurred to me today that I have gotten fat. Now, don't tell me "oh no, you're not" because I was looking in a three way mirror at the gym and it's the plain truth. I have always been chubby but I have crossed the line. The line into really letting myself go. This is not good.

I have decided to do something about it and try out that thing called "will power" that I am so bad with. It's odd that I am so controlling of so many things but so bad at having will power. It doesn't add up.

I have been generally back into working out for the last few months but not on any real schedule and not with food monitoring really. Since I've been out here I have worked out pretty regularly though (like 4 times a week) so one would think I am on the right track. I am going to be really hungry for a few weeks but then I will be used to it and start naturally eating less... or so I tell myself to make it through.

Part of it has really just been general unhappiness but finding comfort in food. I realize how frumpy and Cathy comic that sounds, but that's an easy way for it to happen. Food can be oh so comforting when life is all cold and unwelcoming. Yikes, I am a boring story on the Biggest Loser now. Same ole, same ole. Christmas is my deadline. I am setting a goal for Christmas and then working toward it. Here we go.

Kelley, because she is a devil, made me an Easter basket. It's filled with delicious candies! Dang, I am surrounded by temptation.

kelley made easter baskets.  lordy!


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.