This year- Day three hundred and fifty. (Trying to be Positive)
2010-06-16/1:45 a.m.

USA Wins!

One perk of being unemployed during the World Cup (aside from being able to watch all of the games) is being able to bbq and watch the 2:30 game with other unemployed people. It was like having Saturday on a Tuesday!

Above you're seeing a hilarious example of how the American press covers the World Cup. Who knew that tying now meant winning?? We've re-invented winning. You're welcome, other (lesser) nations. This is why we're the best!

I have been reading things about this recession and people losing their homes and raising their kids in the car etc... and it's really putting things in perspective. Sure, I feel like I am a waste of life but apparently that is going around and at least I didn't fall that far (that is a perk of never making it very high up) and didn't bring anyone else down with me (a perk of being alone).

It occurred to me when I was in KC a few weeks ago that I make about 50% of my decisions based on obligation, 40% based on desperation and 10% based on things that I actually want. Of course sometimes there is overlap between categories and then sometimes I have no idea what I want so I just go with one of the other options. It's no wonder I am unhappy so much of the time! I have so many things sapping my happiness and then I am not even helping things.

In couple's counseling the counselor once asked Mike what his priorities were. He listed his career as 1 (hilarious, since here we are six years later and he still doesn't have one) and his family as 2, leaving me with third place. I ranked him/our relationship as 1 and my career and family as 2. The counselor said that this was common and that people don't realize it until it's spoken or written out- people just assume their partner prioritizes in the same way.

He then told me that based on these answers that I was no one's top priority. That really made me think. I thought maybe I should try to drop him down to 2nd place. It never stuck so basically I was left with the fact that I will just have to love someone who makes me top priority in order for me to ever take the 1st place. That is what I think now when I go on dates right after "is he a crazy person?" Man, I must be a treat on dates!

It's disheartening to learn that even as a single person I am not making myself my own priority.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.