Re-thinking everything.
2010-07-12/3:41 a.m.

My week was spent re-thinking every decision that I've made since college. Why do I do this to myself?

I feel like I need a new career path. I told a friend that I need something more stable and he (hilariously) told me that I should write young adult novels or work on performing/reading comedy. Now I need new friends too. Friends who understand what "stable" means, for example.

My ideas for ways to guide my life:

1. Make a documentary. I am applying for grants just to see what happens. I have some good ideas for one kicking around anyway, may as well give it a shot.

2. Write a young adult novel. I never do this no matter how much I want to or how much people tell me to. For two years both Johnny and Eugene have been on my ass to do this but I just web surf instead. Clearly I have some kind of mental block on this one.

3. Become a teacher. Look into the programs that help you get your masters while working as a teacher. I would want to teach high school, I think. My friends who are teachers are all warning me that this industry is incredibly depressing and broke right now.

4. Go back to school and finish my masters in criminal psychology and pursue that in some capacity.

5. Teach filmmaking or film and tv at some northeastern boarding school. Meet a guy who wears tweed blazers (oh, this should also take place in the 1960s) and wears glasses and marry him.

As you can see, I am stupid. This is how I ended up in this mess to begin with- my ideas for careers are more like my personal fantasies.

Also, I am re-learning illustrator and final cut pro because my skills are cruddy and old and the programs have updated like 5 times and now I don't understand them very well anymore. Having practical skills is always a good thing, right?

Oh! And I'm looking at jobs on the nypd site because I watch THAT much Law and Order, apparently.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.