This year- Day one hundred ninety. (fuck you)
2010-01-04/9:34 p.m.

Can't stop twisting the knife, huh? It's like being a lying, manipulative asshole wasn't enough and now you're pretending like friends I've had for 10 years are your new buds. Newsflash! They're not.

I am stupid for letting it bother me that some jerk is being a jerk. It does bother me though. I want everyone to tell her, right to her face, that she sucks and that they do not like her. Being phony nice to her doesn't teach her any lessons about her shitty ass behavior. She's stupid enough to think it's genuine and that she's so likable and fun.

How do people reach an advanced age in life, doing horrible shit to people, without ever considering that they're terrible? How is it possible to always think it's someone else who is at fault every single time it's you? It shocks me every time I come upon one of these un-self aware people, but I come upon them all the time. I guess there are some things I will never get used to.

And now it's causing problems in my relationships because I can't just ignore something that's been thrown in my face with flashing lights all over it. I'm sure someone could ignore it but I am not that person.

I am the kind of person who thinks that if you're nice to someone who treated me like crap (and you know it), that you're not being a good friend. As Ash said in "The Fantastic Mr. Fox" - "you're disloyal." I've been like that my whole life, I guess it's just part of who I am for better or worse.

At least we all know the truth about the phony asshole.


A note I found in a drawer.
The Extra Lens and Adultery.
Books are beautiful.
Ira Glass made me feel better about things.
Something that happened yesterday.